Most people think of trauma as the event: abuse, neglect, violence or a serious accident. There is also what happens inside you as a result, and what you may still carry today.

Perhaps you struggle to feel good enough, keep everyone happy or keep things under control. You might think, “That’s just who I am.” These 22 questions can help you begin connecting your experiences with thoughts and behaviours you’d like to change.

Answer Yes if an everyday statement usually describes you; otherwise, answer No. For “Have you ever” questions, answer based on your life experiences. There are no right or wrong answers.

1. I often feel that I’m not enough or don’t measure up.
2. I say yes when I want to say no because I worry about how someone will react. *
3. Even when others say I’ve done well, I keep thinking about what I could have done better. *
4. Once I have a plan in my head, I get frustrated when someone changes it or adds something unexpected. *
5. I often worry about what other people think of me. *
6. I go along with what other people want instead of saying what I want. *
7. I often think, “If I want it done right, I need to do it myself.” *
8. I find it difficult to accept a compliment. *
9. I feel guilty when I put my own needs first. *
10. When I make a mistake, I beat myself up and keep going over it in my head. *
11. I need reassurance from other people to feel good about myself. *
12. I worry about how everyone else is doing and put my own needs at the bottom of the list. *
13. I find it hard to relax because there is always something else I should be doing. *
14. I keep my feelings and opinions to myself because I’m afraid I’ll be judged or rejected. *
15. When someone I care about has a problem, I feel I have to step in and fix it, even when I’m already stretched thin. *
16. I tell people I’m fine even when I’m struggling inside. *
17. Have you ever been physically abused? *
18. Have you ever been sexually abused? *
19. Have you ever been repeatedly put down, humiliated, threatened or made to feel worthless by someone close to you? *
20. Did you grow up without the care, attention or support you needed? *
21. Have you ever experienced violence or witnessed violence against someone else? *
22. Have you ever been in a serious accident? *